Pitiful or Powerful

Pitiful or Powerful

You can be pitiful or powerful.  But you can’t be both!

I have been pitiful far too long.  I can blame it on my circumstances in life but that would only be defeating the purpose of the lesson.  Besides, it is likely that my choices and decisions placed me in those positions in the first place!

It is high time we take responsibility for our actions!  And more so, refuse to take responsibility for the actions and decisions of another human being.  Let them make complete messes of their own lives!  They don’t need your permission.  Nor do you need to add to your own burdens.

Haven’t you had enough?

I know I have!  I have given away my power just a few too many times…….  I appeared pitiful because I did not have control over my own life!  And that made me VERY unhappy.  I wasn’t much of an inspiring example to my children at that point in my life, either.

Like many of you, I really did not see that I had given away control of my life to another person.

Until we acknowledge that fact, we cannot change it!

In many ways, it may be the hardest thing you will ever endeavor to accomplish.  But it will be the most rewarding experience in your life.  It produces freedom.  Freedom is what every human being wants.

Freedom to choose.  Freedom to dream and desire.  Freedom to act.  Freedom to BE.

To be who YOU are, not the person others are expecting you to be.  That hasn’t benefitted you, it benefitted THEM.  Take back control and feel free again.  When you do, you WILL make others angry, so just expect that.  They can no longer control you to manipulate life to their whims.  And that is a good thing

I may appear hard-nosed to some, but I no longer care.  My life, My choices, My decisions.  My messes.

We must stop believing the crap others say about us.  Ask yourself what YOU believe about yourself?  It should say you are special and you were made with a Purpose!

You may not yet know what that purpose is, but that is because you are living your life based on what others think-want-believe-say-desire and do!  When you take control back and begin appreciating even the smallest joys in your life, you become closer to your purpose.

Step out and Dare to be Different!  Different is good – and fun.

When we no longer care what others are thinking, or doing, or wanting, or trying to figure out what they want from you – and you then doing it, life somehow becomes much more attractive.  It sings.  The butterflies come out in full color.  Inspiration is engaged.  Creativity becomes a habit.

We CREATE our lives.  Our lives did not create us.

I DARE TO BE DIFFERENT (and I have succeeded in that endeavor)  Some don’t seem to care for my differences.  But I no longer give a hoot because this is MY life, not theirs.

What kind of life will you create?  Mine is colorful, beautiful, creative, inspiring, happy, spiritual and full.  People unhappy with my choices have fallen by the wayside.  Clearly, I was no longer living life by their standards.  My life is richer with those who want to embrace my uniqueness,  those who give me the freedom to do so, and those who appreciate being able to do the same.

All because I no longer gave a damn.

Smile with me today, and every day of you life!

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Thankful for What I Have Lost

Thankful for What I Have LOST

Most individuals are making lists this season for all they are thankful for having.  I for one, am thankful for what I have LOST.
  • I have lost a 195# life-sucking tumor that I thought shared my life but whose only intention was to use and throw me away.
  • I am thankful for the ‘church’ congregation that was lost.  I was kind, generous, giving, helpful, loving and nurtured a group of people I cared for.  When I needed kindness, help, love and nurturing, no one was available.
  • I am thankful for losing the doctrine of that ‘church’ for the real doctrine of God, Life, and Spirituality
  • I am thankful for the loss of the dreams and goals of others that I was supposed to support without having any of my own.
  • I am thankful for losing the Requirement to serve and not be served.
  • I am thankful for the loss of the idea that I am not worthy of being loved.
  • I am thankful for losing the constant voice telling me that no one would love me or work with me or enjoy me.
  • I have lost and set aside the insecurities projected upon me for the strength and resilience of the real person that I am.
  • I am thankful for losing my former self, as I have gained a new empowered, spiritual, happy self.

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  • I am thankful to have lost my health for I have found ways to be healthy and regain my vitality.
  • I am so very thankful for losing the daily ritual of being yelled at, insulted, accused, criticized and berated.
  • I am thankful the effects of being called ‘psychotic’ and ‘weird’ have gone and I have embraced my OWN kind of ‘crazy’ and my OWN unique personality.
  • I am thankful for losing the ‘eggshell relationship’ where I was conditioned to behave in a way that was meant to keep my partner from becoming angry.
  • I am thankful for losing the instability in my life and understanding how damaging it was.
  • I am thankful for losing the house that I lived in with my family.  There is a difference between a house you survive in and a home you thrive in.
  • I have lost the need to know my destiny and my gifts for this life, and quietly arrange my thoughts to be ready to move forward when that knowledge is given to me.

Although I am thankful for all I have in this life, this year I am most thankful for all I have lost.  But most of all….

I have lost the phrase “why me?”  I now scream ‘why NOT me!”

If this resonates with you or someone you relate to, share this post with family and friends and create your OWN list of things you are thankful for losing in your life.

SMILE WITH ME TODAY and every day of your life.

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Be Thankful for the experience of life and begin a new adventure into digital marketing.  Sign up here for our free video series that explains how.

My Own Cinderella Story

Sometimes I feel like Cinderella.  But no gown, no ball to attend, and no prince waiting for me.

I have been collateral damage for my ugly sisters and their nasty comments, accusations and actions my entire life.

I have dreamed of good relations with them.  I have come to the conclusion that I need to take my broom and mop and move along to the next household.  Sometimes, an uphill fighting battle is best left to those who enjoy the fighting.

We all have our own Cinerella or Cinderfella stories and lives.  But the questions is:  What are we going to do with them?  What are we singing about?  What are we wishing for?  What is it that our fairy godmother or godfather can bring to us that will make US happy?

Peace is a big one for me.  After leaving the chronic family ugliness in my rearview mirror, I have found peace. 

Contentment.  I have found contentment with the things that I have, and eager for more going forward.  I have been so blessed to have LIFE, and I appreciate it each day.  I work to enjoy the minutes and hours that I take in the breath of life.

My Cinderella story isn’t unusual.  There may be more twists and turns in your own novel life, and I refuse to list the myriad of events in my own.  They will only bring about more of the same should I do so.

But suffice it to say, my sisters have their own Cinderella stories that will differ greatly from mine and yours.  We all seem to fall victim to our own lives.  That is a sad state of affairs, and could likely be the problem to begin with.

I used to put up with so much, like the original Cinderella, without comment, just did as I was told.   That does not make me a victim, but it does not make for a LIFE!

Cinderella cried and wished for more.  To her advantage, she ENVISIONED a merciful fairy godmother who came to her rescue and gave her the COURAGE to defy the instructions of her sisters and step-mother.  She went to the ball in a beautiful dress.   It was even more than she imagined.  She met a handsome prince.

And she CREATED her own timeline – the dream ended at midnight, right on schedule.

Cinderella continued to BELIEVE.  And as luck would have it, her prince came to find HER.  And the story says they lived happily ever after.

Well, they did not continue with the story where they had daughters of their own who began the entire routine all over again.  SSDD  Same Shit Different Day. 

The point is, we have options.  We have Choices. We have Dreams of our very own. We CREATE our lives.  Our lives don’t create us.

But are we willing to defy the instructions and wishes of others who think they know what is best for US?

The choice is YOURS.  What is best for YOU?  What is it YOU want in life?

As Cinderella did, continue to DREAM and sing about it.  Get the birds, mice and other animals involved in your vivid dreams of life.

But most of all, make that DECISION!  And move forward! 

You will have a time limit you have set for yourself, where at the stroke of midnight you will go back to your old rags, but the dream will still be alive WITHIN YOU !!!

Continue to reach for it, believe in it and move forward out of your victim life mentality. 

Realize that those who do not dream and desire more for themselves, are the real victims in life.

Are you ready to DEFY the naysayers, have the COURAGE to DREAM and CREATE your own digital marketing LIFE within your own TIMELINE ?  Make that DECISION now and click here for a FREE 7 day video series to show you HOW. 

And write your OWN Cinderella story !

Sincerely, Cinderella 2.0 

A Situational Comedy

My life is a situational Comedy –  I just miss most of the jokes.

Do you laugh?  At yourself?  At others?   At the antics and conflicts and difficulties that transpire in the course of your life?

I used to years ago.  Then I got too serious because the opinion of others was forced to hold more weight than that of my very own.

Life has been very difficult and challenging since the day I allowed that to happen.  Although I had my ups, and a good number of downs, prior to that, I still made time to laugh at myself, time to make others laugh about the issues I got myself into.  It was either laugh or cry, and I wanted to be happy.

The last 18 years have seen a complete shift in my attitude.  I took on the serious attitude of a (now ex) spouse.  Life sucked to be frank.  There were many good parts but laughter was not part of it.  Joy was not involved.  My actions were judged as to good or bad daily and whether they held up to his ‘Christian’ ideal.

The ideal or opinion I held of myself was of no value.  And that value was greatly diminished over the course of years.  My opinion on anything that disagreed with his was obliterated, crushed and removed from our life.    Laughter was gone.  Joy dismissed and happiness crushed.

After 18 years of soul crushing defeat, I now have the opportunity to grow again.  I am planting seeds of joy, happiness, laughter and abundance in a fertile soil of my own choosing.

For some reason, I have an affinity toward sunflowers.  The color and size and beauty and symbolism of the flower is amazing.

My spring is here and my smiles are blooming slowly.  New growth on this plant is showing with a vibrant healthy color.  I look forward to seeing the full bloom with the seeds of more joy, hope and happiness fall, flow and spread to others, and with others.

I am brushing away the conflict, its not worth losing my smiles.

I am sweeping away the dust of years past.  I like a clean house.

I am cleaning out the drawers that hold the clutter gathered over the years.  That stuff is useless and will never be used again.

I am replacing the photos on the walls to remind me of the happy person I was and am again.

So much life left in me to waste it being defeated and sad and crushed by the criteria of others and the sad attitudes they live life by.  Not me, not anymore. I have turned the corner.

If someone is not willing to plant themselves next to you, in fertile soil of joy, and bloom beside you, allow them to mosey on their way to where they want to be and continue to grow in joy and abundance, putting your face toward the sunshine enjoying every moment of beauty that you see and bestow upon the world.

I am thrilled to see me bloom.  But even more so, the seeds that I produce in my lifetime will continue to produce joy and happiness and abundance and wonder in the world around.

Be your own situational comedy.  Laugh about life.  Enjoy the show.  Don’t worry that you don’t get all the jokes.

If your life has become more of a drama and no longer fun to watch, it may be time to make a change, spice it up, and begin living again.  If that ideal is ringing through your ears, click the link below to begin a new life journey, teaching you a new way of being, earning, and living life on your terms.  A New Journey/A New Life/A New Abundance

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2018 A Year of Inspiration

I am just like you, taking one step at a time through life. Getting out of bed each morning, but sometimes unsure of why.

Many individuals have jobs or careers that motivate them to get up and go, with reasons to do what they do. They are motivated by the money and recognition they receive. Others are relying on them to be present.  They not only desire, but need the income the job provides. Individuals are supporting their families and feel obligated to provide for them in this way. They are indifferent to what they must do to accomplish this goal of support.

undefinedThere are other humans that do little, waiting for their lives to expire as nothing seems worth doing.  These people have been let down in life, ridiculed for their attempts, verbally beaten down and now feel no reason to move forward.

But what if……

There were those who enjoyed life, couldn’t wait to get out of bed in the morning; work at making their bodies and minds stronger, go for the run that makes them feel great; purchase a cup of coffee, and with a smile, chat to the barista and other customers, engaging in uplifting conversation?  They look for and find joy in most everything in life. They look forward to getting to work and doing something great. They not only think about things, they create things, and they do things. Helping others is an attribute they strive for.

These are the kind of persons that can annoy you when you are struggling through your day.

Unlike talking M&Ms, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, this kind of person DOES exist.

The difference? They are INSPIRED, not just motivated.

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Definitions:
MOTIVE:  An emotion, desire, physiological need, or similar impulse acting as an incitement to action; causing or able to cause motion **
MOTIVATE: To provide with an incentive or motive; impel**
MOTIVATION: The act or process of motivating; something that motivates. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way**
INSPIRE: To affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence; to fill with noble or reverent emotion; exalt; to stimulate to creativity or action; to elicit, arouse; to be the cause or source of; bring about; to inhale, breathe upon or breathe life into; to stimulate energies, ideals or reverence**

INSPIRATION:  Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity; the condition of being so stimulated; an agency, as a person or work of art, that moves the intellect or emotions or that prompts action or invention; something that is inspired, a sudden creative act or idea; Divine guidance or influence exerted directly upon the mind and soul of man**

Inspiration comes from within the soul and drives you to do things you want or must do.  It is a mental process of creation, and feeling of hope.  Motivation is an exterior force that pushes you to do the things that must be done.

I want to be inspired, not just motivated!

It is clear that the great inventors and artists were inspired to create their machines and masterpieces.  Even the great leaders had life breathed into them to move forward with the goals they set for themselves and the world.  We also have the ability to be inspired like those we have admired!

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You now question how to find your inspiration!?  Begin with pen and paper and write down all that makes you smile, things you enjoy doing, people you like spending time with.  What were your dreams as a child growing up and planning for the future?  What makes your heart leap when the thought comes to mind?

Write down what are you grateful for in this moment, and in past moments.  What truly has made you happy?  Think about how much you have now, not what you do not have.  Set aside the negatives and begin seeing only the confident side of your life and your present circumstances.  Breathe life into your soul by feeding it with positivity.

This exercise will bring about a creative thought process that will propel (not impel) you forward.  Daily revisit this list and continue to add to it.  This is the beginning of the creative process of INSPIRATION.

I too, am building my lists daily and being grateful for even the small things.  I have been inspired to blog, creating articles that only I can write with my ‘wit and humor.’ (yes, I really have some)  I have been inspired to heal others with my words, helping them to move forward to a happier, more fulfilled life.  I have been inspired by others who came before me.  I am inspired by those who are helping me now.  I have been been propelled forward from inside, not impelled by the needs of today.

“When you warm other people’s hearts, you remain warm yourself.  When you seek to support, encourage and inspire others, then you discover support encouragement and inspiration in your own life as well”  -author unknown

Share this article with others if you are inspired to do so.  If you desire inspirational opportunity, leave a comment or click the link on the page and begin your own journey of inspiration.

Your Journey to Inspiration

Smile with me today, and every day of you life.

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Sh*tstorms of Ugliness

Once upon a time, I was sweet and innocent.  Then sh*t happened.

Do we ever get used to Sh*tstorms of Ugliness?  Are we intended to ride it out, overcome it, or just get used to them?

I have decided to spin a POSITIVE side to them.  I look good in brown, and I intend to wear blue jeans and pearls to enhance the look.

Let’s be honest, we have all had our own Sh*tstorms of Ugliness.  They appear to be ever-present and at times even feel omnipotent.  Yours might come in the form of a thunderstorm or a hurricane.  It might be described as a dust devil or small whirlwind – just enough to piss you off – they quickly come in and go away.   Maybe it’s a tornado or tidal wave, or as great as a tsunami.  If yours is a tsunami, the waves may continue to roll sh*t over you longer than desired. However, the waves will subside.

undefinedLet’s define ugliness:  anger, insults, spitefulness, unfairness, accusations, hatred, viciousness, antagonism, bitterness, nasty, yelling, arguments, berating, putting you down, self-righteousness, being unkind, disrespect.  Just plain meanness.

You will have found by now that we cannot control the actions and intentions of other human beings.  If you attempt to look into the hearts of these individuals shoveling it out, you will likely find a frightened and scared soul who has learned that dishing it out is far better than being buried under it.  They have not learned how to handle their fears.

FEAR …  False Expectations Appearing Real    or    Forget Everything And Run

When you hide your fear, your fear consumes you.  When you face your fear, you overcome it.  Face Everything And Rise

Face your fears, destroy your limits.  Learn to Dance.

Everyone has sh*t to throw around. It deflects their need to look at the sh*t piling up in their own life.  They want to share….  How sweet.

It’s during your worst storms that you will get to see the true colors of the people who are in your life.  Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are sh*tty humans and stop trying to see the good that isn’t there.

Enjoy the weather pattern as best you can.  It won’t last forever.   Each one has a lifespan.  If you can enjoy the tough times, the good times will be that much better.

Dance in it. 

You will receive interesting reactions when you do ……. To say the least.

  • They might say you look good in brown and they like your pearls.
  • You could shock the rest of the sh*t out of them.  They will have nothing left to dump on you.
  • They will stop throwing sh*t your way.  It was not their intention for you to enjoy it so much.

“If you can’t dance in the rain with me, you will never be with me in the storm.  And if you aren’t in the storm with me, I don’t need you in the sunshine either.” author unknown

So, wear your finest brown ensemble, pull on your boots and jump right in!  Do your very best to find the POSITIVE side of each Sh*tstorm of Ugliness.  You may even learn how to dance within one.

If this resonates with you or someone you relate to, share this post with them and learn how to dance together.

SMILE WITH ME TODAY and every day of your life.

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The Terrible T’s

Parents have long been familiar with the term ‘The Terrible Twos.’   I have always referred to them as The Terrible T’s.   Two, Three, Ten, Twelve, Thirteen and Twenty thru Thirty-nine.

The Terrible Twos

undefinedOur offspring begin as adorable little babies that coo and giggle and smile.  They melt our hearts and take over our lives.  In a few short months, The Terrible T’s begin!  The ‘Terrible Twos’ include the Threes.  All parents will agree that age Two goes into Three smoothly while noticing the terrible did not stop.  They go from crawling cuties to tumbling terrors that walk away and talk back.  If both parent and child survive this stage, they will have an 8-10 year reprieve before The Troubling Teens begin.

The Troubling Teens

undefinedTechnically, it would be TenTwelve and Thirteen, but it MUST include Fourteen through Nineteen.  In teen years, our young are growing, developing, changing and testing their limits at break neck speed.  Tormented by peer pressure and body image, and the annoying requests by their parents, they adapt to circumstances daily. They don’t even know what is happening half the time.  Far be it for the parent to actually be a part of their teen’s life.  This stage is challenging for all.  Including the public.

The Terrifying Twenties

undefinedBeginning life without the daily encouragement of their parents, twenty-somethings are out on their own, attending college, career training, or work daily.  They learn to pay bills, cook, do laundry and other mundane chores not required as a child.  Charging shampoo, soap and other necessities on a Target credit card is a survival technique.  Relationships begin and end like day and night.  Now working for difficult individuals, they are no longer able to pull the covers over their heads, shutting out the responsibilities of life.  Some are working even harder to stay out of jail.

At this point it would be nice to say Thankful Thirties, but we are not quite there yet.

The Tenacious Thirties – Or even Tough Thirties

undefinedHere they are finally making it.  Working hard to support their families, raising children of their own.  Purchasing homes and nice cars.  Hoping they still have a job the next day.  Realizing their adolescent desire to grown up and be on their own, making their own decisions, did not turn out the way they had dreamed it would.  They clearly remember the snarky comment their mother made to them years ago, “I hope you have 5 kids just like yourself!”  And realize they did.

If you did your parenting job well and your kids hit the Forty milestone, suddenly an amazing individual unfolds out of a cocoon they built for themselves decades before.  They are nowThankful for all you did to love, nurture and support them in life, for who you are, and are aware of what they put you through.  They now ask for your advice on raising their own children.

You smile.

Your children now realize why wild animals eat their young, and they praise you for your efforts.

Tell them to be Hopeful.  The Terrible T’s only last four decades after all.

We are all affected by The Terrible T’s in this life.  The best way to handle them is with a SMILE.  If this speaks to you, let me know, tell your stories, and share this blog with your friends, family and ADULT children.

Thank you Mom and Dad for teaching me how to smile.

Smile with me today and every day of your life.

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The SECRET – it’s UpsideDown, Folks

Being happy is a quest that all of us are striving for day in and day out.  We attempt to bring in happy events, items and people to our lives that will bring that happiness to us personally.

Have you noticed that most of us are still depressed and wondering if this is all there is?

I do, I did.

My revelation came to me in pictures and words, tugging at my heart.  I was forced to decipher them on my own.  When I did, reality came rushing forth and I had to tell the world.  Some may already know this but I am pretty confident that most of you do not.

We have it back-asswards, folks!

In the movie theatre, you will see a white screen in which the movie is projected upon.  It must be white for the colors to absorb and reflect.  If it were a black screen, you would not see color or life coming from the screen.

In the stage theatre, you will see the backdrops in black and the curtains in a dark color, usually red (for glamour).  This is so they won’t be distracting to the audience, as a light colored curtain will pick up other colors, and would distract the audience from the performance.   If a scene is desired, a white backdrop is placed and the picture is projected to it from back or front.

undefinedThe color black has all colors already within it.  That is what makes it black.  The color white has none.

The color white is able to absorb, express and reflect back all the beauty and colors sent to it, and remains white when those influencers are gone.  Even shadows only lite upon it but do not permanently darken its color.

The color black has all the colors within it already.  It maintains them. All the colors remain a part of the color black.  When beauty and color are sent to it, they cannot be expressed or reflected by it.  Black absorbs them instead.  Black cannot express back any beauty or life that is bestowed upon it.

Again, we have it back-asswards and upside-down.

Instead of struggling to find and pull good things into our lives, the secret is to remove the negatives out of our lives!!

It’s no wonder we describe someone’s heart as being ‘black’ or an evil person as ‘black hearted.’  And a depressed person being ‘blue.’  Wow, realizing how close the color blue is to black should frighten some people into cheering up!  And the Bible talks about letting our light shine!  It is probably trying to convey the idea of removing all the negatives (black) in our lives and the white backdrop we were born with will begin to brighten!  WE will begin to brighten!

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I have been dubbed the hard-ass, sissy-bitch, crazy aunt, and mother.   This is not for the faint of heart!  It is simple but it is NOT easy!   But it works.

Over the years, I had been taking on, and taking care of, everyone else’s problems.  The problems of others somehow became mine to shoulder, to solve.   I helped all I could.  Some I could not.  I was a good Christian.  Until I wasn’t.

I was depressed with no one to turn to as I already had their problems to handle.   I quit life.  Felt like I had died of being a friend, mother, daughter, sister.  Staying in bed was much more enjoyable than going out into the world which was not enjoyable to me anymore.

After months of soul searching, I began facing my fears.  The fear of rejection is my biggest.  Most had already walked away from me because I could no longer offer them help, and the rest were already upset with me for not fixing their problems.  So, what did I have to lose?

To list a few of the things accomplished:

-I began by removing the negatives from my life.  People, things, events.   And attitudes that were attached to other people.

-I stopped allowing others to speak negatively around me.  I would attempt to change the subject, walk away, or tell them the subject is not comfortable to me, let’s move on.   If they wanted to say bad things about me behind my back, I no longer cared.  They were bringing the negative into THEIR life, not mine!

-I stopped going places that made me uncomfortable and instead found places that made me happy to be in, with people who brought beauty, life and laughter with them.

-I don’t watch the news, it is too depressing.   We have enough of that in our lives already.  Don’t add to it!   I do listen to the radio news in the car but when something is said that makes me feel constricted in any way, I shut it off.  It is not worth spiraling back into that black hole again.

-I don’t argue a point with anyone, anymore.  We each decide for ourselves what we want, believe and do in life.

-I find what is in my life already that I am truly thankful for and appreciate them, no matter how small.  And I build upon those each day.  It is a pleasurable habit to acquire.

-I stopped attempting to control the behaviors and actions of others, or control situations to acquire the outcomes I desired.  This removed a great deal of negatives within myself AND the negative it created in others around me.

I now feel free, that I am a white screen that can absorb beauty and color, express it and then reflect that beauty back into the world.  Shadows are ever present but they do not have the ability to color my screen anymore.  They visit and leave to darken the life of another unsuspecting soul.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark.  The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light” – Plato

The Secret is back-asswards, upside-down and inside-out.  And you may even feel this way when you begin working on the solution to solve it for yourself.   You may insist that it is something you can’t possibly do – people are relying on you.    In the words of Henry Ford:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

If this article resonates with you, share it with others.  Locate more life situations that reflect the black and white hypothesis.  Find common ground and begin your journey out of the ‘hole’ of despair and darkness.

If you want to learn more about how I began my journey, click here.

SMILE WITH ME TODAY, and every day of your life.

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